To start off:
When a pregnant woman is stressed, when she has high levels of cortisol or adrenaline coursing through her body, this negatively affects her baby. The hormones of both stress and well-being significantly impact fetal development. For example, maternal stress during pregnancy increases the likelihood of premature birth, low birth weight, and an increased likelihood of emotional/behavior health problems for both mother and child -- even through the child’s adolescence. Basically, what you feel the baby feels (Amy Glenn Wright, 2015).
So, is it OK then to have and feel my unpleasant feelings in pregnancy if the baby is going to feel them, too?? How do I not feel depressed or anxious at times and 'protect' my baby from these low energy feelings?
Well, it is impossible not to feel crummy and off at times because you are human and that is part of the human experience. I believe it is OK, normal, and healthy to feel your feelings rather than shove them down - even when you are pregnant, especially when you are pregnant because it can be a wonderful opportunity to do a lot of inner work and healing. The trick is to feel your feelings through so you can let them go, which takes a little time and patience. A consistent yoga practice and/or meditation practice can help you to move and release stuck unpleasant feelings, gain perspective and see the big picture when you feel engulfed in them, and encourage and remind you to keep calm and take deep breaths (elicits the relaxation response, yay!)when faced with adversity. The cool thing about a consistent yoga practice is that you don't need to know the whole story or why. Feelings and stuff will just come up as we move, stretch, and breathe in yoga. Our job is to keep our attention in the Present, watching the unfolding of one moment to the next Healing occurs in the Now. Just keep showing up to your mat or cushion and over time you will feel a bit lighter and freer. Simple, right?! It is, but Simple does not always mean Easy, I had a wise teacher say. Just keep showing up and see what happens. So, if you feel angry, sad, disappointment, you fill in the blank during pregnancy and you are worried about hurting the baby with your bad vibes, well, I say better to Feel it All, Let it Go, and Move On. Better I feel, than you holding on to your stuff and creating more stress hormones for you and your baby to feel!
I have talked before in class, how I grieved a lot during my 2nd pregnancy. Repressed grief surrounding my mother's passing bubbled up from deep below. Pregnancies will do that - push stuff up to the surface - towards the Light for healing! Not at all what I wanted to feel during this pregnancy, but I had a choice, resist the suppressed feelings of anger and pain or totally accept it and go with it. I chose the later, which created more space and inner peace in the long run. The 2nd pregnancy opened another layer of my heart and taught me about real acceptance which in hindsight was preparing me to be mama of two babies. Oh, the baby came out fine, too. He is happy and has a good heart. Each child bestows us lessons to learn from pregnancy (the lessons for me where 1st pregnancy Transformation opening my career path (hint - prenatal yoga! and 2nd pregnancy healing/opening my heart more), birth, and beyond. Each child has his/her own personal agenda and picked you to be his mama for you and your partner's genetics alone (I'm serious), geographical location (needed to be born at your location), or some past karma to work out.
So, I say feel your feelings - ALL of them. We can't feel the utter joys and bliss if we don't go way down and touch our dark sorrows and pain. Friends, if you do feel completely isolated and overwhelmed with your grief or stress in pregnancy, get professional help from a trained therapist. You are never alone. There is help! I also did talk therapy down the road (after 2nd pregnancy) for my grief related to my mom and childhood,and it helped A LOT. Another BIG thing that has transformed my life tremendously (besides yoga of course :-)) is a daily meditation practice. That is where I am learning to sit and witness my feelings rather than identify with them, just let them move through me, watch them rise and fall away, and over time release them. Here is an article if you are curious about starting a meditation practice
http://www.phillyvoice.com/beginning-meditation-practice/ Feel it all. That's what makes us human, stronger and more compassionate mamabeings :-)
