What makes an empowering good birth?

It is naive of me to think a natural birth=an empowering good birth. Who am I to insist all women should experience natural birth in order to be empowered?

Some background: I did have a natural birth for my first child and it was extremely empowering and transformational. It was a good birth in my experience. Natural birth was a personal choice mainly for spiritual reasons and an inner voice telling me that that was the right choice for me. Originally, I started with a medical-model of maternity care but it never quite felt right. There always seemed to be some kind of resistance with the care provider or something was just off. I switched care providers twice in my pregnancy until I finally felt at home at a birth center about a half hour from my home. This was around 20 weeks plus when I landed there for care. I tell women it is never to late to switch health care providers in pregnancy. A woman is very in-tune with herself during her pregnancy and her inner voice is loud and strong, trust it. I had a good friend of mine go from wanting a traditional 'the works' birth in a hospital with an ob to a natural home birth with a midwife in the last month of her pregnancy. It is very important that you feel completely safe where you birth and trust those around you.

The birth center was very worth the hassle, effort, and drive. It was an oasis or a diamond in the rough for Philadelphia and the other maternity care I has seen so far. Immediately, I felt at peace there. It was positive, calm, friendly, and supportive. No rushing around, panic, or urgency. I digress...anyway, I am changing and expanding my ideas of what makes an empowering good birth. It is unfair of me to judge a woman for her birth chooses, and if she does not decide to go natural or if it turns out differently. A woman does not have to have a natural birth to feel empowered and good about her birth! I am slowly starting to realize this. Having an empowering good birth constitutes a lot more than if a woman used drugs or not. Was she heard? Was she respected, loved, and cared for properly? Did she feel in control of her movements in labor and birth? Did she feel as if she was an active participant in decisions that were being made about the labor and birth? All of these things contribute to a woman's satisfaction in her birth experience. A woman having a cesarean can feel just as empowered as a woman who births naturally if she feels she was informed about and included in making the decision and if she was cared for, heard, loved.

There is so much pressure in our society today about what type of birth a woman is going to have: home, hospital, c-section, birth center, drugs or no drugs. We get caught up in the type of birth and process that we lose the woman. What about her? Her mind, body, and spirit. She is the one giving birth and making the choose in what kind of birth she feels is best and right for her and her baby. I am guilty of judging women in their birth choices. I am learning though to open my heart, soften, and respect each woman's choice in how she births. We should support and love a woman throughout this incredible process and help her feel empowered and good about her birth, no matter what type of birth she choices or the outcome of the birth.